Oh When The Cards Go Steeeeeeaming in…

An FM’10 career by Fids

Leagues Loaded

USA (MLS only)

England (BSS/N and Above) – Woking

France (Ligue 2 and Above)

Germany (1. Bundesliga only)

Italy (Serie B and Above)

N. Ireland (Prem only)

Ireland (Prem only)

Scotland (Division Three and Above)

Spain (Segunda and above)

Wales (WPL only)

Australia (A-League only)

Club History

Career Total – P874 W521 D155 L198 F2107 A1079

Woking – 7th July 2009 to present – P831 W492 D149 L190 F2002 A1030

Brazil – 16th July 2023 to present – P8 W6 D2 L0 F20 A6

Wales – 5th July 2020 to 3rd June 2023 – P30 W20 D3 L7 F76 A38

Wales U21 – 1st July 2018 to 5th May 2019 – P5 W3 D1 L1 F9 A5

Significant Matches

First Competitive Game: Welling 2-2 WOKING – Blue Square South, 8th August 2009

First Win: WOKING 2-0 Worcester City – Blue Square South, 15th August 2009

First Promotion: WOKING 4-0 Dover – Blue Square South Play-off Final, 22nd May 2011

100th Game: WOKING 1-1 Dagenham and Redbridge – Blue Square Premier, 9th August 2011

First Football League Game: WOKING 3-3 Rochdale – League Two, 9th August 2014

First League Title: Coca Cola League Two Champions, 16th April 2016

First International Game: WALES U21 4-0 Algeria U21 – U21 International, 14th August 2018

500th Club Game: WOKING 0-0 Southampton – Coca-Cola Championship, 19th January 2019

First Premier League Game: WOKING 1-1 Arsenal – 17th August 2019

First Premier League Win: WOKING 2-1 Liverpool – 20th August 2019

First Senior Cup Final: Chelsea 2-1 WOKING – League Cup Final, 1st March 2020

First FA Cup Final: WOKING 0-1 Man City – 16th May 2020

First European Game: WOKING 3-1 Toulouse FC – Europa League 4th Qualifying Round, 20th August 2020

First Senior Cup Win: Stoke 0-1 WOKING- League Cup Final, 28th February 2021

First European Trophy: Lyon 2-3 (aet) WOKING – Europa League Final, 12th May 2021

First Champion’s League Game: Sevilla 3-2 WOKING – 18th August 2021

First League Championship: English Premier League – 1st May 2022

First FA Cup Titile: Manchester United 2-3 WOKING – 14th May 2022

Club Honours


English Premier Division Champions: 2021/22, 2022/23, 2023/24, 2025/25

Coca-Cola Championship Champions: 2018/19

Coca-Cola League One Champions: 2016/17

Coca-Cola League Two Champions: 2015/16

Blue Square Premier Play-off Winners: 2013/14

Blue Square South Play-off Winners: 2010/11

FIFA Club World Cup Winners: 2023, 2024

Champion’s League Winners: 2022/23, 2023/24, 2024/25

Europa League Winners: 2020/21

UEFA Super Cup Winners: 2023, 2024

FA Cup Winners: 2021/22, 2022/23, 2023/24, 2024/25

League Cup Winners: 2020/21, 2021/22

FA Trophy Winners: 2012/13

FA Cup Runners Up: 2019/20

League Cup Runners Up: 2019/20

Personal Honours

English Premier Division Manager of the Season Winner 2021/22, 2022/23, 2023/24, 2024/25

Championship Manager of the Season Winner 2018/19

League One Manager of the Season Winner 2016/17

League Two Manager of the Season Winner 2015/16

BSP Manager of the Season Winner 2013/14

BSS Manager of The Season Runner-up 2010/11

League Two Manager of the Season Runner-up 2014/15

English Premier Division Manager of the Year Runner-up 2020/21

English Premier Division Manager of the Year Third Place 2019/20

English Premier Division Manager of the Month: December 2019, February 2020, August 2021, September 2021,
January 2022, August 2022, February 2023, May 2023, August 2023, September 2023, October 2023, December 2023,
January 2024, February 2024, March 2024, August 2024, September 2024, October 2024, December 2024, April 2025,
May 2025

Championship Manager of the Month: April 2019

League One Manager of the Month: August 2016, September 2016, November 2016, December 2016, March 2017

League Two Manager of the Month: August 2015, November 2015, December 2015, January 2016, February 2016

BSP Manager of the Month: April 2014

Season One – Woking – Blue Square South 2009/10

League: P42 W15 D13 L14 F55 A48 Pts58 Finished 10th

Not too good a season, lucky to remain in the job when all said and done. Few good signings at the right point of the season kept me behind the desk, and the bloody sharp axe coming down post-season brought some much needed dollar in. Discipline was a major downfall too, a fair few reds during the season, as well as a nice seat in the stands for me on more than one occasion.

FA Cup: Fourth Qualifying Round

Fell Short of what the board wanted, injuries putting pay to a run to the first round proper.

Q2 – 2-1 vs Oxford City (Kingfield)

Q3 – 3-1 vs Eastleigh (Kingfield)

Q4 – 1-4 vs Havant and Waterlooville (Westleigh Park)

FA Trophy: First Round

Promising start until we met my old bogey team in the First Round. Rather pants tbh.

Q3 – 4-1 vs Bath (Kingfield)

R1 – 1-2 vs Salisbury City (Raymond McEnhill Stadium)

Highlights: Not being shown the door.

Lowlights: Disciplinary issues, not troubling the play-off positions

Fans POTY – 20yo Irish CM (P41, G5, A14)

Top Scorer – 22yo Anglo-Italian ST (P36(1), G21, A8)

Season Two – Woking – Blue Square South 2010/11

League: P42 W21 D9 L12 F74 A51 Pts72 Finished 3rd

Play-off Semi Final – 5-2 on Aggregate vs Grays (0-2 away, 5-0 home)

Play-off Final – 4-0 vs Dover (Broadhall Way, Stevenage)

A much better season this time round, in with a chance of promotion right at the death, with wins for Weston (champs) and Dover keeping us in third. The board were kept happy with the finish and the subsequent sales bringing in more cash, and the fans were more than happy with the replacements, albeit young, signed. Disciplinary improved too, with only two visits to the LGS for me this season…

FA Cup: Third Qualifying Round

Short again of what the board wanted, shit happens.

Q2 – 3-0 vs Walton Casuals (Waterside Stadium)

Q3 – 1-1 vs Bromley (Kingfield)

Q3r – 1-3 vs Bromley (Hayes Lane)

FA Trophy: Second Round

Board wanted the second round, board got the second round. Revenge exacted on Bromley for our FA Cup exit, but ultimately met my bogey opposition again.

Q3 – 3-0 vs Bromley (Hayes Lane)

R1 – 5-2 vs Bracknell Town (Kingfield)

R2 – 0-2 vs Salisbury City (Raymond McEnhill Stadium)

Highlights: Promotion o/

Lowlights: Meeting Salisbury again

Fans POTY – 21yo Irish CM (P34(2), G4, A14)

Top Scorer – 23yo Anglo-Italian ST (P44(6), G26, A7)

Season Three – Woking – Blue Square Premier 2011/12

League: P46 W13 D10 L23 F57 A80 Pts49 Finished 17th

Mission accomplished this term, staying up and quite comfortably too. Goalies were a bit of a liability at times, thanks to me believing my scouts with Highland League keeper suggestions. Really should have realised that a Slovak playing in a Highland League side has gone wrong somewhere in his career. On the field discipline was near spot on, with no reds shown, although there is now a seat in the LGS with my name on, four visits this season…

FA Cup: Third Round

The bright point of the season was most definitely our cup run, with reliving the clubs past as giant-killers, dispatching Coventry in
the First Round. Shame they couldn’t do it in the Third Round.

4Q – 3-0 vs Welling (Kingfield)

R1 – 5-1 vs Coventry City (The Rioch Arena)

R2 – 7-0 vs Weston-super-Mare (Woodspring Park)

R3 – 0-3 vs Norwich City (Carrow Road)

FA Trophy: First Round

Out at the first hurdle, ’nuff said.

R1 – 0-2 vs Dartford (Kingfield)

Highlights: Staying up and returning to Pro status

Lowlights: Bloody LGS is cold

Fans POTY – 22yo Irish CM (P50, G7, A9)

Top Scorer – 38yo Dutch ST (P21(12), G16, A0)

Season Four – Woking – Blue Square Premier 2012/13

League: P46 W18 D8 L20 F72 A56 Pts62 Finished 13th

Up a few places this season, job done me thinks. Season started horribly, just keeping the gig after new Bosnian owners came in and losing all seven of the first seven games – great way to start under a new Slavic regime – twenty-one points dropped that could have seen me sneak into the play-offs. Signed a French GK and a giant Aussie keeper on frees to replace my former numbers one and two, and went on a five game spree, sending us to mid-table from six adrift at the arse end of the table. Looking for the play-offs next term, especially if we can get more consistent

FA Cup: First Round

Bit of a let down this term, humbled by the worst possibly side

4Q – 2-0 vs Farnborough (Kingfield)

R1 – 0-2 vs Stevenage Borough (Kingfield)

FA Trophy: Winners o/

Eased through, with a shock result in the second leg of the semis, and killing both of Accy’s keepers in the final means nice shiny silver pot in the cabinet.

R1 – 2-0 vs Whyteleafe (Kingfield)

R2 – 1-0 vs Thurrock (Ship Lane)

R3 – 1-0 vs Forest Green Rovers (Kingfield)

QF – 3-1 vs Aldershot Town (Recreation Ground)

SF1 – 1-1 vs Wrexham (The Racecourse Ground)

SF2 – 6-0 vs Wrexham (Kingfield) (7-1 on agg)

F – 7-0 vs Accrington Stanley (Wembley)

Highlights: Achieving mid-table obscurity, still never lost at Wembley (5/5 record), no visits to the LGS

Lowlights: Losing to Scumanage in the FA Cup

Fans POTY – 22yo Scottish AML/ST (P45(1), G20, A15)

Top Scorer – 19yo English ST (P36(4), G21, A6)

Season Five – Woking – Blue Square Premier 2013/14

League: P46 W26 D9 L11 F105 A58 Pts87 Finished 2nd

POSF1 – 3-1 vs Histon (The Glassworld Stadium)

POSF2 – 4-2 vs Histon (Kingfield) (7-3 agg)

Final – 2-0 vs York City (Wembley)

That were a surprise. Predicted to finish tenth, never got anywhere near there. Lowest we dropped to all season was sixth, and despite an upheaval in personnel on the pitch and behind the scenes, the season went smoothly. So very nearly finished top as well on the last day, only for a 97th minute winner for Cambridge saw them nick the auto-place by a point.

FA Cup: First Round

Squeak through the qualifying round, knocked our due to inept officials in the first round. Consolation prize was the first visit of the season to the LGS.

4Q – 2-0 vs Basingstoke Town (The Camrose)

R1 – 2-3 vs Oxford United (Kingfield)

FA Trophy: Third Round

Knocked the Shytes out in the first which was nice, only for the Creepies to do us on our own turf in the third round. Revenge was sweet, humping them 7-0 when they returned two weeks later in the league.

R1 – 1-0 Aldershot Town (The Recreation Ground)

R2 – 4-1 vs Havant & Waterlooville (Westleig Park)

R3 – 2-3 vs Crawley Town (Kingfield)

Highlights: Promotion, still never lost at Wembley (6/6 record), scoring for fun, Manager of the Year and our wee Jock Striker too the player equivalent

Lowlights: Three visits to the LGS, losing hold of the FA Trophy

Fans POTY – 21yo English CB (P46, G5, A2)

Top Scorer – 23yo Scottish AML/ST (P42(5), G27, A9)

My POTY – 24yo Irish CM (P54, G5, A35)

Season Six – Woking – Coca Cola League Two 2014/15

League: P46 W14 D13 L19 F80 A81 Pts55 Finished 17th

Nice first season in the Football League. Started quick out of the blocks, staying in the play-off places for the first dozen or so games, then started to fall away with injuries to key players started occurring, and their deputies clearly not cut out for League Two football. Happy with retaining League status for next season, and either top half or play-offs are the target.

FA Cup: Sixth Round

Nice bit of crowning point of the season for me. Couple of shocks against Championship sides make up for the raping by City.

R1 – 3-1 Southport (Kingfield)

R2 – 3-0 Brighton and Hove Albion (Kingfield) – Full house of 6036

R3 – 4-1 Wolverhampton Wanderers (Kingfield) – Another full house

R4 – 4-2 Sheffield Wednesday (Hillsborough)

R5 – 4-0 Queens Park Rangers (Loftus Road)

R6 – 0-7 Manchester City (City of Manchester Stadium)

League Cup: First Round

Meh. Fecking dodgy linos.

R1 – 2-3 Colchester (The Weston Homes Community Stadium) – fecking ridiculous name for a ground, tbh…

Johnstone’s Paint Tin: Southern Section, Second Round

Waste of time, Assman sacked

R1 – Bye

R2 – 2-5 Charlton Athletic (Kingfield)

Highlights: Scoring for fun, Shock FA Cup run, Shock third place in the L2 Manager of the Year Award.
Lowlights: Three visits to the LGS (again), Conceding for fun, injuries.

Fans POTY – 24yo Danish AM/FC (P41, G26, A9)
Top Scorer – 24yo Danish AM/FC (P41, G26, A9)

Season Seven – Woking – Coca Cola League Two 2015/16

League: P46 W34 D8 L4 F142 A64 Pts110 Finished 1st and Champs

Slow start as usual, and when I start fearing “Second Season Syndrome” kicking in, my strikers and midfield seem to not be able to miss anything, beating anything in my path. Very much fearing this season in League One, been installed as 10-1 fourth favourites for promotion and am in the process of having my squad raped by Championship teams

FA Cup: Third Round

No complaints, just missed out on a money-spinning trip to Villa Park with a last minute goal ruled out.

R1 – 8-2 Histon (Glassworld Stadium)

R2 – 3-2 Notts County (Kingfield)

R3 – 4-5 Aston Villa (Kingfield)

League Cup: Second Round

Good showing by the ressies and kids, especially holding Premier League Peterborough to 0-0 for 80 minutes.

R1 – 1-0 Swindon (Kingfield)

R2 – 0-2 Peterborough United (Kingfield)

Johnstone’s Paint Tin: Southern Section, Second Round

Couldn’t be arsed with this one again.

Waste of time, Assman sacked

R1 – 1-0 Torquay United (Kingfield)

R2 – 0-2 Wycombe Wanderers (Adams Park)

Highlights: Scoring for fun, shock title, clean sweep of the awards, no visits to the LGS

Lowlights: Still conceding far too many goals, in desperate need of lube for the team…

Fans POTY – 25yo Danish AM/FC (P46, G48, A25)

Top Scorer – 19yo English ST (P46, G55, A21)

Season Eight – Woking – Coca Cola League One 2016/17

League: P46 W35 D8 L3 F139 A58 Pts113 Finished 1st and Champs

Hit the ground running, and didn’t stop. Made a couple of signings on frees at the beginning of the season to replace the ageing and quite frankly, now shite remnants of the BSS side, along with signing a couple of the loanees from last term on permanent deals.  Lost a couple of good players in January who were more than suitably replaced by a couple of kids from the youths, bringing a shock successive promotion. Losing half a dozen of the first team when the window reopens though, so next term is going to be a battle to stay out of the bottom three, thanks to the chairman.

Disappointed with how crap the standard was in League One this season, quite shocking.

FA Cup: Second Round

Knocked out in the Second Round by Walsall, not happy. Some kids who were given a run-out may have found the dole queue…

R1 – 2-0 Kings Lynn (Kingfield) – Average age of just 17 as the youths had some fun…

R2 – 4-5 Walsall (Bescot Stadium)

League Cup: Second Round

Good showing by the ressies and kids again, one step further this time…

R1 – 3-2 Swansea City (Kingfield)

R2 – 2-1 Peterborough United (Kingfield) – Mmmm, revenge…

R3 – 1-3 Bolton Wanderers (Kingfield)

Johnstone’s Paint Tin: Southern Section, Second Round

Disappointed with this, fancied taking this just for the nicety of having a new shiny pot.

R1 – 0-0 Luton Town (Kingfield) – 5-3 on pens

R2 – 1-3 Swindon Town (Kingfield)

Highlights: Scoring for fun, shock title, clean sweep of the awards, no visits to the LGS… again.

Lowlights: Still conceding, bloody chairman trying to ensure a return to L1, the shiteness of L1 this season

Fans POTY – 26yo Danish AM/FC (P50, G47, A20)

Top Scorer – 26yo Danish AM/FC (P50, G47, A20)

Season Nine – Woking – Coca Cola Championship 2017/18

League: P46 W18 D11 L17 F66 A63 Pts65 Finished 9th

Nice first season in the second tier in my opinion. Given outside favourites for the title by the bookies, and 24th by the media. For the majority of the first two thirds of the season we were challenging in the playoffs, but come the final stretch a backlog of games,injuries, suspensions and fucking U21 games knocked us back to a still respectable upper mid-table position. Only the one solid offer all season, and that came after the season ended from Real Madrid. Far too early and however tempting £275k per week is, I’m staying in West Surrey for the time being.

FA Cup: Sixth Round

Nice long money spinning run, ended by Liverpool ( ). If only the 93rd minute goal at Anfield wasn’t given as offside…

R3 – 2-1 Derby County (Kingfield)

R4 – 2-0 Notts County (Kingfield)

R5 – 3-1 Preston North End (Kingfield)

R6 – 0-0 Liverpool (Anfield)

R6r- 0-3 Liverpool (Kingfield)

League Cup: Third Round

First EPL scalp, learning experience so can’t complain.

R1 – 4-0 Hereford (Edgar Street)

R2 – 2-1 West Brom (Kingfield) – First Premier scalp

R3 – 1-2 Hull (Kingfield)

Highlights: Still knowing where the goal is, kids coming good

Lowlights: Still conceding, still getting screwed by the powers who be, WBC red-lighting expansion.

Fans POTY – 18yo English AMRC/FC (P47, G13, A6)

Top Scorer – 26yo Austrian ST (P36, G15, A6)

Season Ten – Woking – Coca Cola Championship 2018/19

League: P46 W29 D12 L5 F105 A55 Pts99 Finished 1st

Play-offs? Bugger that. If it’s going to be done, has to be done properly. Started the season well, and after a couple of wobbles we embarked on a twenty-five game unbeaten run to seal a play-off place, and then overhauled West Brom with a game to go to seal the title. Pity it’s probably only going to be a season before I’m back, going to be a very steep learning curve

FA Cup: Fourth Round

Meh. A pointer to what I’m to expect next term.

R3 – 4-2 Southampton (St. Mary’s)

R4 – 0-3 Tottenham Hotspur (White Hart Lane)

League Cup: Third Round

Will make the fourth round next season at least. Another taste of what to expect next season too.

R1 – 5-2 Gillingham (Kingfield)

R2 – 2-1 Sheffield United (Bramall Lane)

R3 – 2-5 Sunderland (Stadium of Light)

Highlights: Still knowing where the goal is, kids coming good, promotion, now a legend at the club.

Lowlights: Too early a promotion

Fans POTY – 16yo Welsh GK (P42, GC52, CS15)

Top Scorer – 32yo American ST (P44, G30, A5)

Season Eleven – Woking – English Premier Division 2019/20

League: P38 W21 D9 L8 F78 A36 Pts72 Finished 5th

That went better than expected. Had the start from hell with facing Arsenal, Liverpool and Man Utd, managing to come away with five points, Liverpool the ones to fall 2-1 at our place. Set the tone for the rest of the season, and at times we were enjoying a tussle with both Manchester clubs at the top before their games in hand came into play. Injuries came to the fore toward the back end of the season, mainly thanks to the cup runs causing three games a week at times, and we fell back to a fucking brilliant fifth, holding off Liverpool for the Europa spot. They did end up qualifying in lieu of the League Cup winners (Cheatski finished third) and Hull in seventh qualified in lieu of the FA Cup winners (Man City were Champions).

More of the same next season, top four may be a bit too much of an ask.

FA Cup: Runners-Up

Proud of my lads, shame that our striker cocked up by giving the ball away for City’s winner.

R3 – 1-0 v Leeds (Elland Road)

R4 – 3-1 v Nottingham Forest (Kingfield)

R5 – 2-0 v Sunderland (Kingfield)

R6 – 2-1 v Man Utd (Old Trafford)

SF – 1-0 v Chelsea (Wembley) – Nice bit of revenge for beating us in the League Cup Final

F – 0-1 v Man City (Wembley)

League Cup: Runners Up

Fourth Round aspirations? Sod that. Cheated by a myopic lino again.

R2 – 3-0 v Walsall (Kingfield)

R3 – 1-1 (4-3pens) v Hull (Kingfield)

R4 – 2-1 v Leeds (Elland Road)

QF – 3-0 v Everton (Goodison Park)

SF1 – 4-3 v Tottenham (White Hart Lane)

SF2 – 2-1 v Tottenham (Kingfield) (6-4 agg)

F – 1-2 v Chelsea (Wembley)

Highlights: Still knowing where the goal is thanks to our record signing Chilean, our Yank and Poofland LW, Europe o/

Lowlights: Fucking expensive, WBC only green-lighting a change from terrace to seats.

Fans POTY – 20yo Norwegian AMR (P46, G19, A12)

Top Scorer – 32yo American ST (P43, G20, A13)

My POTY – 17yo Welsh GK (P51, GC46, CS24, GS3)

Season Twelve – Woking – English Premier Division 2020/21

League: P38 W23 D5 L10 F87 A46 Pts74 Finished 4th

One place better this term, mainly due to Arsenal and Liverpool having shockers and us finally managing to get ones in the league over both Manure and Manshitty. Brought in a nice big money signing of a Brazilian DMC thanks to the frankly ridiculous TV money and mass sale of fringe players, and a few other not so expensive signings to complement the spine of the side. We had two nice injury crises at the halfway point and toward the end of the season which bitch-slapped us back to reality, but hopefully our policy of signing any youths which the scouts turn up will help with the inevitable injuries next term, especially as they have been with us for a good few years now.

One other thing as well – having spent the best part of the last six seasons whining at the board for expansion, only to be told WBC would say no due to lack of space, we had a 4,000 seat increase at the beginning of last term, and are currently undergoing another 5,300 seat expansion to “comply with league regulations.” I want the “Fidsy Arena” to be built

FA Cup: Fourth Round

Fucking Liverpool rolled us over to register only their second win in competitive matches, and first in six attempts since we came into the Premier League. Even more frustrating is that we went one up early on through a peach of a free kick from our keeper.

R3 – 4-0 v Scunthorpe (Kingfield)

R4 – 1-2 v Liverpool (Anfield)

League Cup: Winners

One step better, made amends for last seasons disappointment. Looking to retain this next term.

R3 – 4-0 v Barnsley (Kingfield)

R4 – 4-1 v Liverpool (Anfield)

QF – 2-0 v Aston Villa (Kingfield)

SF1 – 2-1 v Newcastle (St. James’ Park)

SF2 – 4-3 v Newcastle (Kingfield) (6-4 agg)

F – 1-0 v Stoke (Wembley)

Europa League: Winners

Expected to get humped in the Group Stage, apparently I were wrong. Rather fortunate with the way the draws went, mind.

4Q1 – 3-1 v Toulouse FC (FRA) (Kingfield)

4Q2 – 2-3 v Toulouse FC (Stadium Municipal) (5-4 agg)

GROUP F – P6 W4 D1 L1 F19 A7 Pts13 Pos 1st

GSF – 3-1 v Paris Saint-Germain (FRA) (Parc des Princes)

GSF – 4-1 v NAC Breda (NED) (Kingfield)

GSF – 2-1 v Shalke (DEU) (Kingfield)

GSF – 1-2 v Shalke (VELTINS-Arena)

GSF – 2-2 v Paris Saint-Germain (Kingfield)

GSF – 7-0 v NAC Breda (Rat Verlegh Stadion)

1R1 – 4-1 v BSC Young Boys (SUI) (Stade de Suisse Wankdorf)

1R2 – 2-1 v BSC Young Boys (Kingfield) (6-2 agg)

2R1 – 1-0 v Sporting CP (POR) (Kingfield)

2R2 – 5-0 v Sporting CP (Est?dio Jos? Alvalade S?culo XXI) (6-0 agg)

QF1 – 4-1 v Levski Sofia (BUL) (Vasil Levski)

QF2 – 1-1 v Levski Sofia (Kingfield) (5-2 agg)

SF1 – 4-0 v Spartak Moscow (RUS) (Spartak)

SF2 – 2-0 v Spartak Moscow (Kingfield) (6-0 agg)

F – 3-2 aet v Olympique Lyonnais (Stadium of Light, Sunderland)

Highlights: Champions League footy next season, unexpected UEFA Cup title.

Lowlights: Injuries, suspensions and missing a couple of games as the FA don’t like me

Fans POTY – 28yo English AML/FC (P58, G30, A18)

Top Scorer – 28yo English AML/FC (P58, G30, A18)

Keeper Watch – 18yo Welsh GK (P61, GC66, CS24, GS17)

Welsh National Team – 2020/21

World Cup Qualifying Group 1 – P6 W3 D1 L2 F14 A6 Pts10 Pos 3rd

Not doing too bad, only two points off Belgium for second place, and leading the Germans on Goal Difference (cheers Luxembourg)

Four Associations Tournament – P3 W2 D1 L0 F7 A1 Pts7 Finished 2nd

Thought I had this sewn up with a 4-0 win over Ireland. The Jocks decided to put seven past Norn Iron to take it on goal difference. Fucks Sake.


FRI – 0-1 v Slovakia (Narodny futbalovy stadion)

WCQ – 5-0 v Luxumbourg (Millennium Stadium)

WCQ – 0-0 v Germany (Allianz-Arena)

WCQ – 3-1 v Montenegro (Millennium Stadium)

4AT – 1-1 v Scotland (Hampden Park)

WCQ – 1-2 v Belgium (Schaerbeek-Formation)

4AT – 2-0 v Northern Ireland (Ibrox)

4AT – 4-0 v Republic of Ireland (Ibrox)

WCQ – 1-2 v Czech Republic (G. Arena)

WCQ – 4-1 v Luxembourg (Stade Josy Barthel)

Season Thirteen – Woking – English Premier Division 2021/22

League: P38 W27 D8 L3 F108 A29 Pts89 Finished Champions o/

Predicted third with longish odds to win the title… Wish I had a tenner on it.

Bit of a busy summer transfer window, bringing in a dozen or so kids in for around £15-20m in compensation fees, some looking already quite good for 16 and 17, and most were shipped out on loan once they turned pro. Two big money signings were made in the shape of a 21yo Mexican ST signed for £25m from Porto and a 23yo Italian AMC for £21m signed back from Barcelona (50% sell on clause ftw o/). Going out, amongst the usual “will never cut it” ressies and kids was the now ageing US ST (Evian-TG £1.5m), sulky Portuguese DC (Barcelona £32m), stroppy Irish DC (ManUre £12.25m), sightly promising Spanish ST (Man City £4.3m) and a promising yet sick-note AMR (£10m).

Season started off to plan, remained unbeaten until the Xmas games, where Arsenal and Everton managed to take all six points in two back to back games on the road, with us having a minor injury crisis at the back, with in the Everton game the combined age of the back three being 48. We finished the year in third, nine behind ManUre with five games in hand thanks to our involvement in Europe and the League Cup.

The January sales brought probably the most expensive lay-out for us ever – we welcomed in a 24yo DC from Stoke for £14m and a 22yo Brazillian DC (eventually) from Catania for £28.5m who slotted straight into the first team, and a further £10m on three youngsters who provided valuable backup through the rest of the season. Leaving us permanently was a Welsh DC, who went to Man City for £19.25, with a nice 20% of his next transfer to come to us. A further £3m was recouped on loans out.

We embarked on a further unbeaten run from January to late April when Chelsea finally beat us, a game after we sealed the title with a 4-0 rampage against Everton at home.

I would like a rerun of the season to occur this term, but I have a funny feeling that the “old” big four will spend shit-loads and ensure we don’t shock again.

League Cup: Winners

Retained, looking to ensure this stays in Surrey for a third successive year this time around.

R3 – 3-3 (3-1p) v Bradford City (Valley Parade)

R4 – 4-2 v Sunderland (Stadium of Light)

QF – 2-1 v West Brom (The Hawthorns)

SF1 – 3-1 v Arsenal (Kingfield)

SF2 – 4-1 v Arsenal (Emirates Stadium) (7-1 agg)

F – 4-1 v Wolves (Wembley)

FA Cup: Winners

No Merseyside interruption this time, and we finally manage to win this fucker, and seal the treble o/

R3 – 4-1 v Rotherham (Don Valley Stadium)

R4 – 1-1 v Tottenham (White Hart Lane)

R4r- 2-0 v Tottenham (Kingfield)

R5 – 3-0 v Man City (“Bermudan ST” Stadium)

R6 – 2-0 v Portsmouth (Kingfield)

SF – 3-3 (4-2p) v Chelsea (Wembley) – goal in the fourth minute of two minutes of injury time saved our bacon

F – 3-2 v Man Utd (Wembley) – winner scored in the 90th Minute was followed by eight minutes of Manure playing a 1-0-9…

Champions League: Semi Final

Good showing by the lads, looking to take this fucker in the next three years.

BP1 – 2-3 v Sevilla (ESP) (Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan, Sevilla)

BP2 – 4-1 v Sevilla (Kingfield) (6-4 agg)

GROUP E – P6 W5 D1 L0 F12 A4 Pts16 Pos 1st

GSE – 2-0 v Roma (ITA) (Kingfield)

GSE – 2-1 v Getafe (ESP) (Coliseum Alfonso Perez, Getafe)

GSE – 3-1 v Porto (POR) (Estadio do Dragao, Porto)

GSE – 1-1 v Porto (Kingfield)

GSE – 2-1 v Roma (Olimpico, Rome)

GSE – 2-0 v Getafe (Kingfield)

1R1 – 3-1 v Standard (BEL) (Glain, Liege)

1R2 – 2-1 v Standard (Kingfield) (5-2 agg)

QF1 – 1-3 v Barcelona (ESP) (Camp Nou, Barcelona)

QF2 – 5-1 v Barcelona (Kingfield) (6-4 agg)

SF1 – 2-2 v Man Utd (ENG) (Kingfield)

SF2 – 1-3 v Man Utd (Old Trafford, Manchester) (3-5 agg)

European Super Cup: Runners-Up

Not disappointed, good show by the lads.

F – 3-4e v Juventus (ITA)(Stade Louis II, Monaco)

Highlights: The treble, Champions League run, next batch of kids starting to look good

Lowlights: Nowt I can think of…

Fans POTY – 29yo English AML/FC (P64, G41, A28)

Top Scorer – 18yo Welsh ST (P61, G59, A16)

Keeper Watch – 19yo Welsh GK (P65, GC66, CS26, GS10) – Current club total standing at 219 Games, 28 Goals

Welsh National Team – 2021/22

World Cup Qualifying Group 1 – P10 W6 D2 L2 F14 A6 Pts10 Pos 2nd

Squeaked into the playoffs thanks to the Germans (never thought I’d say that) beating the Belgians. Drew England in the playoffs and went no further.


FRI – 3-1 v Australia (Millennium Stadium, Cardiff)

WCQ – 1-1 v Germany (Millennium Stadium, Cardiff)

WCQ – 4-1 v Montenegro (Gradski stadion Pod Goricom, Podgorica)

WCQ – 5-2 v Belgium (Millennium Stadium, Cardiff)

WCQ – 2-0 v Czech Republic (Millennium Stadium, Cardiff)

WCQPO1 – 2-6 v England (Millennium Stadium, Cardiff)

WCQPO2 – 0-2 v England (Wembley, London)

Season Fourteen – Woking – English Premier Division 2022/23

League: P38 W27 D7 L4 F128 A43 Pts88 Finished Champions o/

Predicted fourth with longer odds than last term – have a guess where the virtual tenner was…

Just a couple of big-money signings this term, paid for by the crap, getting too old and no place in the side now for you sons getting shown the door garnering a nice fair whack. Kids that hadn’t been dispatched or moved into the first team were sent out on loan.

After an early season wobble of sorts, we raced up the league, and only owing to Sunderland of all teams pushing me all the way, the title was retained in the penultimate game of the season.

League Cup: Semi-Finalists

Away Goals suck balls.

R3 – 7-0 v Southampton (St. Mary’s Stadium)

R4 – 1-0 v Middlesbrough (Kingfield)

QF – 2-1 v Liverpool (Kingfield)

SF1 – 2-1 v Man City (Kingfield)

SF2 – 0-1 v Man City (“Ex-Bermudan Legend” Stadium) (2-2 agg, Man City win on Away Goals)

FA Cup: Winners

Retained and sealed the Treble. The proper Treble. Had fun doing so as well.

R3 – 8-0 v Preston North End (Kingfield)

R4 – 6-0 v Everton (Goodison Park)

R5 – 2-2 v Chelsea (“Shortarsed Italian” Stadium)

R5 – 7-0 v Chelsea (Kingfield)

R6 – 6-0 v Bristol City (Ashton Gate)

SF – 3-0 v Man City (Wembley)

F – 3-0 v Tottenham (Wembley) – Spurs also managed to walk the championship, over 100 points

Champions League: Winners

Three years? Make that one…

GROUP E – P6 W6 D0 L0 F18 A1 Pts18 Pos 1st

1st KO ROUND: Sevilla – 4-0a, 3-1h (7-1agg)

QUARTERFINAL: Arsenal – 2-1a, 6-3h (8-4agg)

SEMIFINAL: Olympique Lyonnais – 2-2a, 1-1h (3-3agg, Woking in on away goals)

FINAL: Juventus – 1-0 (Emirates Stadium, London)

Highlights: The “proper” treble, the kids mentioned last time being very good, NEW STADIUM o/

Lowlights: New stadium not being called “Fidsy Arena”

Fans POTY – 19yo Welsh ST (P61, G66, A21)

Top Scorer – 19yo Welsh ST (P61, G66, A21)

Keeper Watch – 21yo Welsh GK (P54, GC51, CS25, GS5) – Current club total standing at 273 Games, 33 Goals

Welsh National Team – 2021/22

Lost out to Ireland in the Four Asses, capitulated against Holland. Quit in a strop.

Season Fifthteen – Woking – English Premier Division 2023/24

League: P38 W33 D4 L1 F134 A39 Pts103 Finished Champions o/

Predicted second, walked it again.

Same as usual in the windows, couple of internationals signed along with a feckload of youngsters. Scored for fun, with my Mexican striker who was earmarked for selling early in the season deciding to show he’s worth keeping, hitting 13 in the twenty five appearances he has.

League Cup: Quarterfinalists


R3 – 5-0 v Brighton (Kingfield)

R4 – 2-1 v Chelsea (Pint-sized Italian Stadium)

QF – 1-2 v Sunderland (Stadium of Shite)

FA Cup: Winners

Retained and sealed the Treble again.

R3 – 2-0 v Southampton (Kingfield)

R4 – 5-0 v Leicester (Kingfield)

R5 – 5-0 v Bradford (Kingfield)

R6 – 4-2 v West Ham (Kingfield)

SF – 3-2 v Sunderland (Wembley)

F – 2-0 v Chelsea (Wembley)

Champions League: Winners

Retained, going for three in a row…

GROUP E – P6 W5 D0 L1 F30 A5 Pts15 Pos 1st

1st KO ROUND: Galatasary – 4-1a, 5-2h (9-3agg)

QUARTERFINAL: Inter Milan – 3-1a, 3-1h (6-2agg)

SEMIFINAL: Catania – 3-2a, 4-2h (7-4agg)

FINAL: Juventus – 6-2 (Croke Park, Dublin)

World Club Championship: Winners

Too easy.

SF – 2-0 v Auckland City (Dakar)
F – 4-1 v Botafogo (Dakar)

Micky Mouse Jobbies…

Community Shield – 1-0 v Sunderland (Wembley)

UEFA Super Cup – 2-1 v Man City (Monaco)

Highlights: The almost clean sweep of trophies, new contact, next wave of kids coming good

Lowlights: Sunderland, Stadium opening delayed

Fans POTY – 20yo Welsh ST (P59, G61, A37)

Top Scorer – 20yo Welsh ST (P59, G61, A37)

Keeper Watch – 22yo Welsh GK (P60, GC59, CS21, GS8) – Current club total standing at 331 Games, 41 Goals

Leave a comment